Coming out of the dark

I think I’ve lost my mojo.

I’ve rarely taken my camera out of my bag.

I’m not interested in cooking.

I’m not interested in knitting.

I forget to take my phone when I leave the house.

I feel sad a lot.

And, I’ve had no interest in blogging lately.  And that’s weird for me.  I can usually compose a blog post out of anything.  But every time I’ve sat down here to update the old blog, I have nothing.  Not because there’s nothing going on, but because everything that IS going on I just don’t feel like talking about. We’ve had a hard past month on many levels, and I’m so tired and drained.  All the time.

Last weekend we got together with our friends Brent and Heather.  I was saying these things to Heather who is a chiropractor and she immediately scribbled out a list of supplements I need to start taking.  I picked up the top 2 priorities on the list (I made her number them in importance) the next day.  After a week on high doses of Vitamin D and Sam-e, plus some B-complex, I’m starting to feel the fog lift.  I can have a conversation about mundane everyday life without crying.  That’s a good start.  Yesterday Rick and I went to a vineyard to buy wine barrels, and I felt a tiny little twitch of inspiration and took my camera out.  I clicked off a few shots.  But I haven’t put them on my computer yet.  Tonight we watched the Academy Awards and I only cried in the parts that everyone else cried in, like when Heath Ledger’s family accepted his award on his behalf.

I’ve noticed a little snag on one of my toenails.  I only notice it when I’m in bed and it snags against the sheets and wakes me up.  I don’t get up and clip it because I’d have to turn the light on and then I’d be wide awake and risk not falling back asleep.  This has gone on for over a week!  I wake up a few times a night vowing to clip my toenails in the morning and then I forget.  But I remembered today and I think I will sleep better tonight.  I only mention this as more proof that I’m coming out of my long dark winter and I’m getting better.

Yesterday morning Rick suggested I pick a couple of my shots to have printed and hang on the wall.  I did and he hung them this morning.  I think it helped me.  This is what I chose:

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2 thoughts on “Coming out of the dark

  1. good choices for pictures it reminds us that spring ALWAYS followS winter!!! Think about the seasons in your life and you and Rick will be starting a new season soon….Grandparents! Nothing will bring you more joy than holding a child that is a part of you and Rick! Hold on sister your world is about to be ROCKED!!

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