I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole Grandparenting thing. It’s unnerving.
Seriously, there are so many complications that could be encountered, so many things could go wrong.
Last night Caleb and Hannah came over for dinner and we had a lovely relaxing evening. The guys played cribbage, Hannah and I sat on the sofa and we chatted…about the baby, about work, about other kids…just catching up. At one point we were all talking about how no one really knows when this baby might decide to come, and somehow the conversation took that turn that no one really wants to talk about…the possible complications of birth. Hannah was calmly saying something about the cord, and if the doctors are doing their job, there shouldn’t be a problem…and Caleb interjected something about even if she comes now, the lungs…with the steroids…would be fine…
I looked at Rick and said, “how on earth did we do this???”
24 years ago when we started having babies we were naive at best and cavelier at worst; I remember NOT being freaked out about complications and although I worried bout miscarriage the 1st 10 weeks or so of each pregnancy, after that, I don’t remember worrying about anything except the pain that I knew was ahead. Not that Caleb and Hannah are cavelier at all, but they are just so matter of fact, and now, thinking of our kids doing what people have done since time began, I’ve turned into this raging lunatic! I told Hannah last night that being on this end, being the Grandma, there is SO much more at stake! I worry about all of it, because not only is there the baby to think about, but there’s OUR kids, the baby’s parents to worry about.
And when I am in my carnal state, when I have my eyes not on God, but on the things of this world, I think, WHO WOULD CHOOSE TO PROCREATE THIS WAY??? (I mean, aside from the fun part). God thought this up?? He thought up this ridiculously dangerous, risky, life-threatening way to people the earth? It’s insane. It’s crazy. At best, it’s not safe!!
My friend Sarah Wertz-Butler used to have a quote on her blog. It said:
“Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” (Elizabeth Stone)
I guess that sums up what I’m trying to say. In choosing to birth, in choosing to people the earth we repeatedly decide to relinquish control. We give over to God the control of our hearts, our bodies, our spirits and trust Him to take care of those we hold the most dear.
And that is what parenting and grandparenting is about:
Loving our children.
And loving their children,
and trusting God to take care of them.
And, if we’re being honest, all that loving and trusting is exhausting.