Remember the Steve Martin movie Father of the Bride? Remember how sometimes when the daughter was talking, Steve Martin’s character would picture her as her little girl self at age 6, or 7, or 10, saying all these grown up sentences that included phrases like “in love”, “getting married”, “starting a family”?
What kids don’t realize is, that wasn’t fantasy. We sometimes watch their mouths move while they’re talking about something, like Josh telling me about some weird fact in the animal kingdom, or Caleb explaining PH balance and sugar levels in beer brewing, and I am seeing them as their little boys selves, sometimes toothless, sometimes with cracking voices of puberty, and I get that lump in my throat that reminds me that it all went too fast.
So last week Abbie turned 21. She chose a cool sushi bar for dinner with Joey and Rick and I, then bowling with all their friends, after which, we said goodbye, have fun, Joey make sure she doesn’t drink too much, and get her home safe.
These pictures…I see the beautiful gorgeous woman she’s become, but really, isn’t she just playing dress-up and getting into my makeup, yet again, and pretending to be a big girl?
How can this be?
All that day, March 23rd, Rick and I kept checking in with each other.
“You still have that lump in your throat?”
“Yep, still there.”
See, 18 was nothing. Sort of a milestone, but really, all it meant was she could vote. That’s all. But this! This is it. She’s our baby, and she is completely full on, totally an adult. And even though we knew it was coming…
We weren’t ready.
Of course, she lives at home again, so how grown up can she be?