Today is my Dad’s 75th birthday. Mom and Dad let me leave LaPine with bags of photos plus all the family slides in order to start converting and restoring them digitally. With that said, please enjoy:
Amos, Dorothy, Jerry, Jack, and Ron
Hidden among the photos was this little piece of history:
Happy Birthday Dad. We all love you very much.
On Tuesday it will be one year since Mom’s open heart surgery. Since that week my sister Cheryl and I have made several trips to Mom and Dad’s, they have come up once, and this past weekend Rick and I went down to spend the 4th of July with them. Over the past year the day we say goodbye to them has become what I call “Leaving Day”. It is the bittersweet morning cup of coffee at their very familiar kitchen table, followed by a few “are you sure you have everything”s, and hugs and kisses and “I love you”s with lumps in our throats. This week last year, Cheryl and I sobbed for several miles before I distracted myself with my camera and corny text messages to and from Dad. And although it’s gotten easier, I always end up feeling very sad and lonely for Mom and Dad once I get home.
Our visits have come to be a lifeline for me. A lifeline to my childhood, to my adolescence, and to the magical time of falling in love with my husband and starting our lives together. Our visits are even a lifeline to the addition of each of my children to our family. These are the people who were there. These are the people who bore witness to my life at each juncture. On their walls are photos of Rick and I before we were married, on Dad’s sailboat with our hair wind-blown and all smiles, pictures of my sister and I each pregnant with our babies, photos of each of our kids when they were babies, and at various stages of their growing up years. In one bedroom is a picture of Abbie in her cheer uniform and Josh and his Senior prom date. In the hallway are 8X10s of each of my siblings and I in our order, first Cheryl’s, then Ken’s, mine, Tim in his Army uniform, and Ronnie. On top of their TV is a picture from Caleb and Hannah’s wedding, and on Mom’s fridge are photos of their great-grandchildren, and I secretly smiled inside knowing they would soon have pictures of Nora there.
I come home with a sense of belonging. I see things in my Mom that I recognize in myself, and I see in Abbie, a need for time alone, and yet deep need to be in relationship, and find answers to why I am the way I am. In my Dad I see a sense of humor and curiosity that I recognize in myself and in my sons. This trip, we went through bags and bags of old photos and in each picture of Mom and her twin sister Diane, I guessed which one was which based on the girl that looks just like me. Ironically, I look more like my Aunt Diane, so I am always wrong in my guess, but there it is again: The connection to the past, to the people I came from.
I sent a text to my brother Ken, who is still there at Mom and Dad’s and said “have a glass of wine with Dad for me tonight”. He said he would. I picture them outside in the screened-in tent in the back yard with the mosquito fans on the table, and the tikki torches lit, and remember today is Leaving Day, and although I feel sad and lonely for Mom and Dad, I come home feeling whole again. The bearing witness of each other’s lives from our first days until now settles me, gives me the sense of having “home” wherever I go.
Seriously! We’re way behind on photos on this blog!
These photos are from 3 weeks ago when Hannah helped Sarah Brearley and Ryan Hamilton with their wedding. She’s amazing, and I loved watching her put things together. I pretended to help, but mostly just felt like I was in the way. I’m so design/martha illiterate! My biggest insecurity is hostessing parties, so this was good for me, and I hope to help Hannah more in the future. Just being extra hands and legs for errands I learn so much from her and her mom!
One of the many things Hannah does best.
The head table
Orchids: I love the Alaskan Ferry in the backgound!
Nora. And Hannah on the outside.
Lemons in still life
Later that same weekend we followed the signs to the harbor and bought shrimp at MadJax, a boat in the marina, and found they sell them live! Another new experience, and we had John and Debbie come down from Blaine with oysters for one of our most memorable evenings of seafood, wine, and cards. (They stayed until midnight, at which point we all decided to have breakfast together, so they spent the night, so fun!!)
Shrimp feed!!
Oysters on the half shell!
Rick and I are leaving on Wednesday to drive down and visit Mom and Dad in LaPine. I am so looking forward to getting out of town and having time to decompress.
Camera batteries will be charged and ready!!
On June 2nd I put out a plea for prayer for Rick and I. So many people called or emailed or texted me within hours of that post assuring us they would pray. Over the next few days I noticed that I felt lighter and more joyful, less sad and less anxious about our future.
In a conversation with Cheryl, my big sister, I told her I felt like Moses must have while Joshua fought the Amalikites. As long his his hands were raised to the sky the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands the Amalekites were winning. When he became too tired to keep his hands in the air, he sat on a rock and Aaron and Hur held his hands up for him, he remained steady, and the israelites won the battle. I had this feeling of peace and rest like I hadn’t had in weeks. And I just knew in my heart it was because people were praying for us. Rick and I were no longer alone. I could sleep at night because somewhere someone else who couldn’t sleep was raising us up to God. I told Cheryl, nothing has changed, we don’t have any answers, but I have peace.
I went into that week with a sense of anticipation, of waiting to see what God would do, to see how He would answer the prayers of so many people on our behalf, and that week, although I wasn’t looking for a new job I received a call out of the blue from a former boss asking if I would be interested in a full time position, still in medical billing, but in a different specialty, with a schedule that would allow me 3 days off every week, and in a healthier work environment. After a casual interview with her and her boss I accepted the job offer and just finished my first week.
That same week Rick accepted a job with Mutual of Omaha as an agent. He left the company he had started with in the insurance industry and is taking this job which has a salary to start. Although this won’t be enough initially to save our home, it is a huge relief and will allow us to catch up on everything else.
The other thing that happened within a couple days of my last post, was a phone call from a realtor saying she had a family here from Texas who wanted to see our home. I knew, JUST KNEW in my heart that this was the family who would love our home and make an offer right away. That afternoon I started mentally composing the update I would make on my blog and thank everyone who’d prayed and of course give all the thanks and praise and glory to God. I never wrote down a word of that post, but as I recall it was quite eloquent, and probably some of my best writing. Bummer you can’t read it. We’ve never heard from that realtor what her clients thought, and we never received an offer.
My mom asked why I hadn’t written about these new events in our lives. I had to admit that it’s because although we know God is God and He will do what He will, I really had hoped and thought that this would have been one of those fairytale stories in which I get to post an update full of good news and joy and call for celebration as God was faithful to fulfill His promises and provide for us what we’ve asked according to our faith!
The thing is. The thing is. Well, the thing IS… God is not a Genie in a Bottle. We don’t rub a magic lamp and get our 3 wishes. We offer Him our worries and anxieties because He cares for us. And He gives us whatever we ask for….?
No. That’s not it. With thanksgiving in our hearts we present our requests to Him and His peace, which is above all understanding guards our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.
And that, my friends is what has happened. God has guarded our hearts. He has protected our minds in this utter chaos of our culture and economic times, and He is protecting us.
The level of stress we could be under from this would typically decimate many, if not MOST marriages. But God has protected us from laying blame on each other. We have continued to look for things we loved to do together and have continued to cultivate and enjoy relationships with others with whom we enjoy much laughter and heartfelt conversations. We are taking up running again and together prod each other to excel in our health and fitness levels. Together we hunt out potential photo ops, read good books, watch good movies, and enjoy the comradeship that 26 years together gives us! We find great joy in the company of our children and look forward with GREAT joy and excitement to the birth of Caleb and Hannah’s baby Nora. Although it feels we are on the brink of destruction, our lives are full and rich and blessed.
I’m saying all of this to say this:
God is great.
God is good.
Let us thank Him for our food.
Amen.
I have been putting off writing this post for a long time. This is another one of those blog posts that makes me cringe. The thought of writing it makes me shudder. I’d much rather write something funny, or inspiring, or toss up a couple photos from the weekend to show how fun and interesting our lives are, or, better yet photos of our gorgeous children to show what lucky parents we are.
So…here’s the thing. We have a couple serious prayer requests, and these are seriously serious:
1. Rick needs a new job.
2. We need to sell our house.
We actually have a deadline of August 17th. If we haven’t sold our house by then, it is very likely that we will become one of those ambiguous families out there that we have all been reading about who have been grossly effected by our economy and are losing their homes.
I was talking with my Dad the other day and I was saying that we have reached the point that we need to start asking people to pray for us. As a christian, I was a bit convicted when I said this. Shouldn’t this be the FIRST thing we do, instead of the last resort?? I’m seriously humbled that we’ve gotten away from our interdependence on the Lord and on each other. The thing is, and this is what I said to Dad, asking for prayer for something like this, something big, like a buyer for our house, (as opposed to healing for my allergies, or my dog’s indigestion) feels so much like asking for help, and that’s just so…humbling.
HOUSE FOR SALE
I’m not asking for a job for Rick from anyone reading this, and I’m not asking for money or anyone reading this to buy our house. And, I’m not asking for pity, or sympathy.
I AM asking that if you read this and you believe in prayer, would you please pray that God would provide these 2 things for us?
A job and a buyer.
If you belong to a church or a small group, please ask your friends to pray for us as well.
I was picturing us at the other end of this trial the other night, and I remembered the final scene of It’s a Wonderful Life when George Bailey has been given the gift of seeing what his life would have been like if he hadn’t been born. We always remember that last scene when all his friends, family, and community file through his living room donating all the cash they can scrounge up, “I’ve been saving this up for a divorce, if’n I ever get me a husband!” (who can forget that line?) But the thing is, George had his God encounter long before all those people started showing up with cash! He had already been revived and given the gift of knowing what’s important.
I feel a little like that too.
I love my house. Anyone who reads my blog knows that. I started this blog to document our building this house. But the truth is, it’s just a house. It’s just sticks and brick and mortar. And, yes it represents something to Rick and I, something we built together after going through some tough times, but in the end…it’s still just stuff, and what really matters is what’s inside. The man and woman who live here and the people around us we call family and friends. So, yes, there is a little sadness in looking toward moving. But when we do move, I still get the man. And the family. And the friends.
So, for now, please pray for someone to come along who loves this house as much as we do and who wants to buy it.
And please pray for Rick as he continues to search for a job, and for God to continue to show Himself to us, whether through beach balls hitting us in the heads, or through His perfect timing, providing for us in ways we would never have thought of on our own.
And this weekend I’ll look forward to posting photos from the very fun and interesting weekend we have and of our beautiful kids and future grandchild, and even our noisy and rambunctious dogs!
Ski to Sea is a big deal in Bellingham. This is a race from Mt. Baker to Bellingham Bay, ending in Fairhaven Park, and includes Cross Country Skiing, Downhill Skiing/Snowboarding, Running, Road Biking, Canoeing, Mountain biking, and Sea Kayaking.
Rick has run in the race 3 times, we’ve volunteered to help at the hand off from the runners to the bikers twice, and we showed up last year to volunteer at the beginning of the canoe leg, but it was canceled due to fast and high water in the Nooksack River. (This is the first time in the history of the race that a leg had to be canceled.) Each time Rick and I have been involved in the race we have ended Memorial Day Weekend inspired and challenged to push forward, not only athletically, but in other areas of our lives. It always ends in celebration, whether we are involved or not. But there hasn’t been a year that has inspired us more than this year.
Ironically, this year, neither of us were participants, and we didn’t volunteer at any leg of the race. And, in fact, as much as we love the “It All Ends in Fairhaven” festival, we were only there to experience it for a few minutes. Rick picked me up right when my shift ended at the coffee shop at 4:45, and we raced to Fairhaven, texting our friend Debi all the way there. Our friend John had decided to compete in the race this year, and found a personal’s website where teams could post their need for a new member for a particular leg of the race, and where individuals could look for teams in need. John found a team in need of a kayaker, and John was a kayaker in need of a team.
John, running to ring the bell at the finish line, after finishing the kayak leg of the race for his team
Had we gotten to the park a little sooner I would have been able to set my camera appropriately to get some clear pictures, but we barely made it before John was coming ashore. We raced to the finish line and took the pictures we could. It would have to do.
Later that evening, while eating burgers and having a celebratory beer together, we toasted, “To Life!” because this race today was way more than just a fun little event that we got to watch John do. This race was an affirmation of life and health and fighting for both.
Last year around this time John was diagnosed with MS. I remember evenings with John and Debi last summer when he was first dealing with the news and it’s implications to his life and his family. We had many late nights pondering the randomness of life, and how does God really fit into it? Is God really here? Does He care? Does He see us and and will He help us? Keep in mind, these conversations are between two couples who had both been in full time ministry for years and had doled out the answers to these questions and others like them to devistated families for years! (I chuckle now at the thought).
I will never forget John’s face when he crossed that finish line and rang that bell! Sheer joy! Sheer love for life and in a healthy body that can still move and run and leap and dance! We later toasted to all of these things, to new starts and to friendship, and to a God who doesn’t stay in the box we try to keep Him in. We toasted to the next 6 years, when John wants to do each leg of the race, and continue to fight for his health and his physical freedom. We laughed and talked and sang to the band.
And then…We Danced.
