Her Fearful Symmetry

Cheryl and I talked on the phone yesterday after we’d both finished reading our books, (within about an hour of each other) and had our book discussion. We agreed that this was a good book, one we would recommend, well written, a storyline that is unique, compelling and intriguing. As in the Time Traveler’s Wife, the author makes the the impossible seem plausible, almost believable, in that science fiction-meets drama kind of way.

I was moved by the characters in the story, by the twinness of both sets of twins. Reading about the interconnections of those relationships, again had me wondering about Mom and Diane and what it was like for them growing up, and then separating, and then their final goodbye when Diane died several years ago.

I asked Cheryl to write something about the book for me to post here on my blog and this is what she sent me:

“To what lengths would you go to live your life on your own terms? Some of the choices that the main characters made in this book made me cringe, but I had to keep reading to find the outcomes. This book was very well written, even though parts were a bit confusing, requiring me to go back and reread a few passages. Because the book involves two sets of twins, and made me think of my own mother’s relationship with her twin sister, I thought they would be my favorite characters. But the passages that touched me the most were about a neighbor dealing with OCD:

‘Once I thought there were two realities, inner and outer, but perhaps that’s a bit meagre . . . How will we recognise each other, after all that’s happened? How will we manage to realign our realities, which are moving away from us even as we travel towards them?’ My sister chose this book for our newly formed virtual book club. This was a great choice and I highly recommend it.”

I don’t know why Cheryl goes on and on about me writing a book. Every time she writes a review for a book, and she does so often, I’m struck by her writing ability. I read her review over and over and kept getting stuck writing my own.

I think what really struck me about reading this book, wasn’t even the book itself, but that I was keenly aware of my sister reading the same thing at the same time. It changed how I read, and changed how I interpreted. I was not just reading for my own pleasure, but wondering all along what Cheryl was thinking while she read as well. Wondered if she was moved by the same parts I was moved by. Wondered if she laughed at the parts I laughed at. Wondered if the ghost story-ness of this book troubled her like it did me at times, and if the secrets being revealed made her cringe as they did me.

All in all, this was a fun experiment, and one that we agreed we would like to do again.

Cheryl will pick the next book, and I eagerly wait for her to give me the title! In the meantime, I’m reading Henry’s Sisters by Cathy Lamb, one of the books in the last bag of books my sister gave me.

Sister’s Book Club

My sister Cheryl and I are both completely addicted to books. We pass each other books we’ve read, and then either keep them, pass them back, or pass them on to someone else. That sentence is a little misleading. It’s way more one-sided than that. Cheryl usually buys the books, reads them, and then every time I see her, she has a bag of books for me to read. Once I’m down to my last book, I know it’s time to figure out a way to see each other so I can replenish my stack. I just love to have a stack of books waiting for me to read.

After Christmas I had an idea. What if we both read the same book at the same time? Kind of like a book club, only instead of waiting until we’re all done and then get together to discuss it, we can discuss it as we go? Cheryl thought that was a great idea and let me choose the first book. I chose this:

I chose Her Fearful Symmetry based solely and completely on the author. I had no idea what the book was even about. But Audrey Niffenegger also wrote Time Traveler’s Wife, which I adored, so I thought we couldn’t go wrong, although I had purchased a book a while back using the same reasoning and it was disastrous. You can read about it here Sing Them Home

Not only has this choice proven to be a good one, it was also a bit, well…coincidental.

As you know, we were raised by an identical twin. It was nothing to any of us growing up as Mom’s kids to see her grab her side in pain, and say to Dad, “oh my, Diane must have gone into labor!” A quick phone call would confirm this to be true. It happened on my Aunt Diane’s end as well. Mom would have pain in her leg and find out later that Diane had injured herself in the exact spot that Mom had phantom pain. Mom would say to Dad, I think I’ll call Diane tonight, and no sooner were the words out of her mouth but the phone would ring and Diane would be on the other end. There were far stranger stories that we accepted as perfectly normal, but I’d need to tape record my Mother telling them to get them right.

When they were girls, the story goes, my Grandmother got tired of the twins dressing exactly the same, and so she took them clothes shopping separately and kept them apart until they’d both chosen new outfits. You already know the punchline…they chose the exact same things. Grandma gave up. As far as I know they dressed identically until they each married and lived apart, us in the Portland area, and Aunt Diane in Tacoma.

In the last couple years, since Mom’s open heart surgery, Cheryl and I, who are 5 years apart have begun to notice some strangeness in our relationship. Things that happen between us that we chalk up to coincidence….but we’ve begun to tease each other and our parents that we’ve somehow inherited Mom’s Twins Syndrome. Cheryl and I, too, call each other at exactly the same time. We will email each other at exactly the same time, asking the same question, or having the same exact suggestion. We’ve had physical ailments at the same time, ailments neither of us had ever had before. About 3 weeks ago I copied and pasted a facebook instant message conversation we were having and sent to our Dad. We had both, in the middle of our conversation typed the exact same sentence at the exact same time. I realize that can happen with anyone, because, really, it’s just coincidence. But with Cheryl, it happens ALL the time.

The funny thing is that we’re nothing alike. We are looking more alike as we age, but we’ve never been mistaken for each other. Cheryl is organized and structured. I am neither. She meal plans. I don’t even cook most of the time anymore. Cheryl leans more to the left, I lean to the right. She loves boating and water. I keep my feet firmly planted on soil. Cheryl goes to a United Methodist church where most of the staff are women, I go to an Acts 29 church where you won’t find a female pastor.

I digress…back to the book. I chose Her Fearful Symmetry, we both received our books the same day, and I opened my book and read the inside of the jacket to find it is about 2 sets of identical twins, each a generation apart. I was shocked! The last paragraph of the inside jacket says,

“Author of one of the most beloved first novels in recent years, Niffenegger returns with an unnerving, unforgettable and enchanting ghost story about love and identity, secrets and sisterhood and the tenacity of life–even after death.”

Once we had the idea to read and discuss a book as we go, I even thought, what a great idea for a blog theme! I could even use excerpts of our email conversation about the book here on my blog! It couldn’t work though, because we would give away what is happening in the story, and if anyone reading this wants to read the book, well, you see how that would go. Wouldn’t work.

I will say that I made a good choice. I love the book, it is so well written, and is keeping me guessing as to the secrets that the girls will uncover…and it’s made Cheryl and I start thinking and talking about what it must have been like for Mom and Aunt Diane when Diane married first and moved away. I wish Diane were still alive and we could get them both in the same room and hear about their early days when they went from inseperable for a lifetime to married and living in different states.

Maybe when we finish the book, Cheryl and I will both write a review and share it here.

The Pink Glove Dance

A friend of mine that I grew up with sent me this in email tonight. I thought it was awesome so I wanted to share it here. This is the story that came with the video:

“Our daughter-in-law, Emily (MacInnes) Somers, created, directed
and choreographed this in Portland last week for her Medline
glove division as a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness.

I don’t know how she got so many employees, doctors and patients
to participate, but it started to really catch on and they all had
a lot of fun doing it.

When the video gets 1 million hits, Medline will be making a huge
contribution to the hospital, as well as offering free mammograms
for the community. Please check it out. It’s an easy and great
way to donate to a wonderful cause, and who hasn’t been touched by
breast cancer?

Ann Somers”

State of the Union Address

Please don’t be disappointed. This is not a political post with me spouting my opinions of the recent state of the union address by the president.

This is the state of the union of MY address by me about how the first month of 2010 is finishing out. January was so full and busy that I can’t believe it’s only been a month since we celebrated the new year!

In a nutshell:

The same week Rick got a raise at work we signed our new mortgage. Yay. I know that sounds a little ungrateful and anti-climatic, but through all the ups and downs of the last almost 2 years, I feel like we had really released our hold on our worldly possessions and accepted whatever our lot was going to be. So, yes, YAY, for a raise, (of course, who doesn’t want/need more money?) and YAY we get to stay in our house, but we really would have been ok if things had turned out differently. I know it is cause for celebration, but we pretty much signed the papers and mailed them back and gave each other a high-five.

Josh turned 23 this month. We had a small family dinner at our house to celebrate.
A couple weeks ago he asked me to go with him and take pictures of him bouldering (his latest obession):

We’ve had record setting temps this month, so on this hike with Josh, dressed for January proved overkill. We were sweating by the time we got back to the house!

We’ve seen this one a few times, and who can ever get enough?

Abbie grew her hair out over night:

I mentioned at the beginning of the month that we were going back to the gym. I’m happy to say the Abbie has been faithfully working out 5 to 6 times a week, and Rick and I have been in the gym 2-3 times a week. We find that the more often we go the easier it is to start making it a priority.

On a sad note, Rick’s step-Grandmother passed away this month, at almost 95 years old, she lived a very long and full and blessed life. And we were blessed to have her in ours for the 15 years she was married to his Grandpa.

Rick and I have starting talking about a road trip this summer. Something we’ve never done: either head east to see Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone Park, or south to the Grand Canyon. I love planning and anticipating a vacation, so I’m totally excited to plot out our route and get our plans set.

All in all, so far 2010 is shaping up to be a very good year. The Union stands strong.

Latest Project

When my parents came up for Christmas a couple weeks ago Dad brought a couple packets of old negatives, and I mean OLD negatives that belonged to his parents. There are several hundred of these and they are medium format film negative, 120 mm, a very odd size. They are about 2″X2″ and don’t fit in the scanner I have that I’ve been scanning slides and 35 mm negatives with. We started out cutting a couple of these down to size to fit into the scanner, but so many of them had so much history that I didn’t want to ruin them by cutting them. So, one afternoon Dad and I set out to buy a scanner that would accommodate these huge negatives. Guess what. You can’t get one. Well, actually you can, if you want to spend a lot of money, apparently the higher end Epson flatbed scanners will work. We came back home and I googled “convert 120 mm film negatives to digital” and found a blog that describes in detail how to take pictures of your negatives with your SLR camera (check) over a piece white paper (check) over a piece of glass (check) over a 100 watt light bulb (check). Then it gives detailed instructions for editing these “scans” or photos and inverting them to positive photographs. By the time I’d read the article and gathered the materials and take the pictures, Dad was fast asleep in one of his many naps of the weekend. I will never forget the awe and wonder I felt when I’d bumped up the contrast and exposure on the first photo and clicked the “invert” button in photoshop. The picture went from this:

To this:

This is my Aunt Donna as a young girl.

I’ve been playing around with papers and lights, and working with the editing to get these just right. I have a long way to go and tons of work ahead of me, but I’m having fun trying to perfect the system.
Here are a few more examples:

Dad thinks this one was taken by my Uncle John at Covenant Beach, a christian camp he went to in the 50’s, and where John met my mother. They dated before Mom dated my Dad.

My Uncle Dave. There are dozens of photos of him and Aunt Donna as very small children. Even some of Dave as a baby, and he just turned 60 this year, so that tells you how old these negatives are!

Imagine: Hair

Here are some photos from last weekend.  Kelly asked me to take pics for advertising for the salon.  We pulled off some good shots, I think, plus we had some fun: